She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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