hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
