I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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