Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
The cops high fived after they tackled you
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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