Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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