Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize