come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
