You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
