That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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