you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
