I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
