So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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