fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
