So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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