In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
