If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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