I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize