I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
