Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
