hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
