i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Only a mothe r could love this liver
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Randomize
