dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
