New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
