He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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