Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
