she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
