if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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