Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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