I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
No subtext here. People are naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize