I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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