the day after is always just damage control
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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