i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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