thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
