Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
