so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
