I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
