He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
he thought i was a dude.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
