Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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