I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
