Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
