Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize