so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
only if we run a train.
done.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
