I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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