I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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