why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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