After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
