I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
