i think my mom watched the whole time
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
