I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
