another moral hangover. fuck.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I cut my penus on the lid.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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