God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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