so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
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