Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
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another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
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I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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