Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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