i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
