he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
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Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
29 Shocking Confessions That People Thought Were A Joke
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful