How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.