Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
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Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
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I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh