i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?