Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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